After attempting to “move the fridge”, on your own, for a few moments, you decide to solicit the aid of some big strong men, four of them, veritable hulks. And to everyone’s surprise… the refrigerator, barely wiggles. Man, that sucker is secured tightly! Discovering the increased challenge being faced, in compliance with the Forman’s demands, once again you reach out to the Forman to say - “Man, that fridge is LOCKED down.” And once more, the Forman simply says - “I don’t care. Move the damned thing, and clean around, under and behind it. Now, just figure it out.”
Wanting not to be seen as a quitter, but instead to be recognized as being, at least somewhat, industrious, you formulate a plan. You get one of your workmates with a winch on the front of his Jeep to secure a line, snuggly wrapped around the base of the fridge (about 4” up from the bottom). You then have the four big guys “steady” the fridge, one at each corner, as you ‘man the winch’ to drag that sucker out! At first the resistance is amazing, things are looking like the ‘anchored’ fridge is going to drag the Jeep into the shop. But… just before you “give up” on yet one more attempt, finally the fridge budges.
The power supply for the fridge was an easy 12-foot-long cord, this even with the refrigerator pulled out six feet past where its front used to be, the power supply is fully slack. There is a problem however, coming up from the four and a half square foot opening in the floor is a 3/8” cold-water supply line, that is now severed. The pit appears to be filling with aqua! The really weird part? That fridge had no apparent water functionality, none, zip, nada. So, ‘why would there be a severed water-line?’ you wonder to yourself.
You casually, albeit perhaps a tad embarrassed, point to the fridge, and say -“The fridge is now ‘out from the wall’ so as to much better facilitate cleaning, under, around and behind it. Just as you requested.”
The Forman, assessing the apparent damages, immediately quips - “I wanted you to clean under and behind the damned thing, NOT destroy my shop.”
You reply - “I tried to tell you, and tried for days even, to tell you there were severe challenges. Your reply each time was to simply say - “I don’t want excuses, I want the damned thing moved, and cleaned under & around.” - so, I complied.
To which the Forman retorted… “Well lad, you should have ‘tried harder’ to let me know the kind of damage that might happen, before you destroyed half the shop. I think the Owner is going to press charges for criminal destruction of private property…
After I awoke the first time, I just rolled over and faded back into (what turns out to be a rather shitty) sleep. When I awoke the second time, the first thing that came to mind was I Samuel 3:1 - 10 (look it up, it’ll do your soul some good), so I asked - “Ok, Lord, what are you trying to tell me?” - I sat quietly for about 10 minutes, and frustrated (thinking to myself “I just don’t ‘get it’, why wake me, and then say NOTHIING) and returned to bed. When the alarm clock rang, I arose, got dressed and took the dogs, who were impetuously impatient this morning, out for their daily - First Walk of the Day - and while propped up against a small fence, I once more reflected on that bizarre dream. And once more I asked G-d, “what?” “What is it you want me to see, or hear, or contemplate or…?” A few moments in, still frustrated with the apparent silence from G-d, I heard a quiet voice say (and yes, I mean I heard this like I was talking with someone standing right with me, and I heard it in Elizabethan English) - “Not Me’ith, YOU’ith!” I scratched my head, and asked (yep, 0530 hours, outside I asked) out loud - “what do you want me to see or know Lord?”
This time, without audio, I “heard” a very plain - “take a look at your own attitudes” - and BAM it was like a light had been turned on. The dream was, is really, about my attitudes, and my frustration with G-d, with my fellow leaders in the church, even with my Pastors. Now, I know that men, especially ugly looking, burly biker-types, “ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO talk about, or ever express, feelings, yet…” Yet, I am frustrated with G-d, with my walk with G-d, with my relationships with leaders and others “in the church”, kind of *feeling* like, no matter how hard I try, whether the “trying” is about following and listening to G-d, or about soliciting help, no one seems to truly listen. Or, if they do “listen”, they still don’t truly “hear” what’s on me heart, instead there’s a lot of dismissal, or exhortation to “just push through”. With all human interaction we have - communication breakdowns.
I know that, after greater than 35 years of ‘walking with the Lord’, I know… that ‘walking with the Lord’, is NOT about “feelings”, I know many of the Scriptures - II Corinthians 5:7 - “…we walk by faith, not by sight…” - and even believe those Words to be rock solid truth. Yet, I still feel frustrated… “What am I doing wrong?” “What do I need to do to fix, or correct, or rectify this crap?” And, I do not have any answers, not for me, certainly not for anyone bold enough to read this, no answers that is… save this one simple thought - “trust and believe” - See Genesis 15:6 - 10
That’s it, DaBauz poured his heart out. Oh boo-hoo me? Perhaps. Perhaps “trust and obey, by believing”!